ANEC Megapodborka

Mom, I made ​​an offer to Sergey!.
- Is it true? .
- I do not know yet. It offers a choice of either his home or on the nature.

- Ah, the day, what a cool! .
- My dear, breathe, what is.

Crowded bus. From somewhere in the center of a crowd angered female voice:.
- Man, what are you doing?.
pause. The same woman's voice:.
- What are you doing, man?.
pause. Interested in voice from the rear of the site:.
- Man, the soul is not Tom, well, why are you silent, then?.

There are two Georgian shepherd. One whole battered, bruised, cones.
- Wow, Gogi, that is wrong with you?.
- Yeah, fuck a sheep in a pasture.
- Well, so what? .
- So, you have a sheep is not jealous!.

My mother drank a glass of fortified wine the guests and went to lay her daughter.
Daughter mom sniffs and says:.
- Mom and Dad why you perfumed scent?.

A man stands on the bridge and pukes. scary pukes. Approaches him and another man knowingly and sympathetically patting on the shoulder, said:.
- Well, right - and then later to suffer to shit.

Husband and wife in bed. The wife reaches orgasm, then again. My husband continues as a routine. The wife of the third, fourth. On top of bliss, she asked:.
- Honey, what's the matter now?.
- You said something? . thought.

Christmas pie recipe.
Finely chop 200g. cucumbers, 100 g. Yeast, 250 ml. Milk, 100 g. Flour, 100 ml. water.
Salt and sugar to taste.
All this eating, drinking beer.
Half an hour later ready Kulebyaka.

Cut out three small house in the village and get a branded helmet ' CC'.

Hello, you incredibly lucky! . Randomly, you were the sole heir to the chosen. Congratulations, you are now the owner of 400 billion dollars, 100 pounds of gold, and all this is YOU! .

Float Winnie the Pooh and Pyatachek along the river. heat. Winnie rowing - sleeping Pyatochok. Winnie tired, but rowing - sleeping all Pyatochok.
Winnie is very tired rowing, sleeping and sleeping Pyatochok. Winnie swung and punched on the head with an oar pyatochku.
Pyatochok eyes opened with prosoni do not understand - the head turns. And Winnie, and.
says:.
- What, Pig, does not sleep? .

The robber stopped on a quiet street a middle-aged man dressed in an expensive suit.
- Come lend your money! .
- I do not advise you to do it, - said the victim. - I work for the government!.
- Oh well! .

Two girls walking down the street. Flies around the poplar fluff. One, waving:.
- Ira, do so from that of the poplar fluff grow so big and beautiful trees?.
- Tanya, you are, of course, I'm sorry! .

Russian amerikosov argued with, who has more holidays. During the holiday - a schelban. American beginnings:.
- Hezavismosti Day, Christmas, Easter. - rescued and offered twenty forehead bold:.
Atheists have any holidays?.
And that's what:.
- Register new year. Eighth of March. The first of May, Seventh in November. - well, and more:.
- Fisherman's Day! .
Repulsed all professions - American fell. Hash razduharilsya - and his legs:.
- Advance! .

Fly on the Korean MiG. He saw the plane flying at him, reads a statement:.
'If you feel bad then siniyu button. Clicks, chattering machine guns, vrazhina falls. Fly on, fly on it, two. Instructions: ' If you really bad press the red button'. Shakes, breaks down two missiles shot down Yankees.
It flies farther at a squadron. Reads: ' If you just turn the evo x * red lever '. Turns, opens the door, a man climbs:.
- Well, narrow-eyed, Dvina, sha, we do them.

Road Warriors stopped the car in the village and appeals to local residents:.
- Somewhere where you can find spare parts for foreign cars?.
- Of course. They were in a ravine full of so sharp bend.

To the doctor comes to the old woman. The doctor examined her, said:.
- Granny, try as little as possible to walk up the stairs. You go in a week.
A week passed. Came an old woman, after the examination the doctor said:.
- Well, that's already much better, little by little you can start walking up the stairs.
- Thank you, my son, and that the drainpipe so uncomfortable to climb.

- What better to wash down authentic Mexican cuisine?.
- Tequila.
- A German cuisine?.
- Beer.
- A Italian cuisine?.
- Wine.
- A Russian cuisine?.
- A Russian cuisine does not have to drink and a snack!.

situation. I've been working on the 3rd floor. Ha the 4th floor of the toilet paper there, but there is no light ( light bulb burned out already as a week), the fifth - no paper, but there is light. I was pinned to the valve, I think, in the fifth without a paper or. Chose the fourth. He ran, shut up, do it.
Some people handle Derg:.
- Is there anyone?.
Do not, I 'll be strained voice to answer, but at this time loudly puuuk.
He:.
- It is clear why no light?.
I have a bunch of back - puuuuk.
He:.
- Got it. - And then stood and said: - First time to talk to an asshole. all clear.

- But if for a moment to imagine what on earth was gone all the grass. It's a disaster. The cows have nothing to. no milk. yogurt, and there were no. photosynthesis is not. oxygen ending. people go to suffocate, along with cows. Violet sky, well, well there is no photosynthesis, around rocks, water and sand.
- Bob! .

Got the driver to the hospital. Friends wonder how it happened?.
- Went to the track - everything is fine, going on, everything seems calm and then suddenly run across the road were the pillars! .

- Well, son, on the occasion of you!.
- What is another holiday, mom?.
- In two days, leaving.

The mother said her daughter:.
- I never went to bed with a man before she married your father. Can you say that your daughter?.
- Yes, but not with such an honest face, as you.

The teacher govopit Vovochke:.
- Little Johnny, you've got in the book a lot of errors.
- Yes, ppavda. Before hpena!.
The teacher is shocked:.
- What? .
Little Johnny, taking off his pants:.
- This is how every dupe show up to!.